Bangalore life/mommy/Thoughts

The summer that we watched together.

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Being a teen mom is terrible, is what they say. But I consider it opposite. I see a person with thoughts and perspectives who can talk for hours with me. That includes watching mindless silly web series on teen romance like “The summer I turned pretty”. I label them as silly now because I am supposed to be the mature 40 year old woman or rather a mother who should teach their kids to not dream about princes and instead show them the real world. How do I say that this mom has that one corner in the heart which still nurtures the dreamy princess in her who dreams of fantasy world princes and the eternal love story that never happens in the real world. How do I deny them the opportunity to float in the dreams when I myself hasn’t stopped myself from doing so?

The web series, TSITP, shows Belly, who has to decide between two brothers vying for her love. Not at all original, I know, but that maybe the beauty of it. I notice the patterns that keep repeating in stories which we call as cliches. These normalcy of the cliches maybe what is attracting us to them. Unless you are a Nolan fan who likes to eat your own brains for breakfast, I think I prefer such simple stories. The same old tropes like friends to lovers or enemies to lovers, the overused love triangles etc. 

She is of that age that I grew up on DDLJ, KKHH, the Titanic and other famous movies. The difference is its all American web series and books that occupy her world. I was limited to just Nancy Drew and the Brontes. I don’t have the heart to limit the new adult books that contain too much of smut that would make our ancestors hide in shame even in their graves. If they could read those, what is stopping them from watching all the series and shows available all over social media. And so we watched it together over the American Summer. 

Obviously the first question is whether I am TeamConrad or TeamJere. There was a similar war we had over Edward and Jacob. But the Rene Jacob twist threw me off very badly. How can you explain the wolf vampire connection of “you were hitting on me because of my unborn daughter? oh please!”. I learned the lesson then and there. No teams anymore. In TSITP too, I was Team Belly, and wanted her to jump out of the Cousins Well and explore more. And thanks to the social media hullabaloo, I found out that there were many parents who voiced the same. Unlike the olden times, the Instagram reels and Twitter comments make the viewing much more involved. We both were sharing reels explaining the analysis and some memes too. There were talks of therapy, grief, red and green flags, and such heavy topics could be easily discussed because we have such references now. 

Long back, when the nude scene in Titanic was aired on national television, I remembered how uncomfortable it was to watch with family even if nothing was shown because of Indian censorship. Now I am okay to watch anything with her. Way better than the violent killings and gruesome rapes that are being shown on films these days. Let them know that sex love and kisses are so normal in real life, and there should be no shame around it. 

And now that the movie is announced, the wait continues. But till then, we would be watching some other series for now. 

Verses

Silence

Posted on by Archana K B / 1 Comment

Silence 

Corrodes relations

Spots of rust 

That we ignore

Like hidden pimples 

That we don’t bother

Till one day

You see

Smoothness is gone

The patch is rough

You repair

Not so easily  

Yet the scars remain

As a reminder…

Silence

Yearning for quietness

We suppress the response

Can’t bear the noise

Yet screaming inside

We walk away

Unable to see

Ignoring the call

Till one day

You see

They are gone

The pathways are rough

You struggle 

To get back

A last attempt 

Yet the words remain

As a reminder…

Thoughts

Forgotten traditions

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Yesterday was lagachi parab. The day when the famous food item of hittu and ghashi were made. I don’t remember anything special for this day apart from the making of leaf baskets, the tutorial which was given by Appa. One of the rare interactions with him, of sharing his knowledge and skills through the actions and not through talks. 

The affinity towards religion has come down over the years when I felt the rituals are done too much and with too many restraints. I guess I started questioning God won’t like me for my skills (because of my imperfections even if I tried my best) so what use of makhan lagaana. Once I came out of the well, I see the pattern repeating everywhere. In all religions. 

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Bangalore life/Thoughts

Romantics too much?

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Monday morning. New week. Grey skies and gloomy atmosphere with stormy winds. As sun was not out, I thought of taking a walk. There were couples, elderly seniors, there were “runners”, dog parents taking them for their walks.

One of the joggers was a young woman in tight smallest shorts and a tank top. She looked “sexy” even for a straight woman. I wondered what is it that making me jealous of hers, whether its the body or not. But as I dig deep, I realize its the youth, the curvy body blessed for women at that age, and the mindset to ignore what others would think of her and following her heart. Somethings which we miss or regret when we think about the past.

There were couples who kept on talking with each other, stealing their couple time and also exercise in their routine. My mind wandered to a twitter thread (https://x.com/TylerAlterman/status/1925904045488660688) that talked of romantics who believed in power of community as not being reliable. There was an accusatory tone in the thread. Though I agree we (myself considering one of the romantics) are weak, the negative connotation didn’t sit down with me well. The post glorified pragmatic people and the independent ones compared to us, the romantics. I thought we always needed a balance in us. Both romanticism and pragmatism. So maybe the post did hurt my ego and is reacting to it. Or it maybe also a sign that I need to stop my daydreaming and revive my practical side, and do the actions which I have been delaying because of this dream of having friends and community of which I yearn to be part of.

By romantics in the post, I assumed they are talking of people who want to live in a dreamy ideal world connecting to people and forming a community without its hurdles and gaining only the perks. And not the actual romanticsm as in wiki history where they give much importance to individualism and live like a hippie indulged in arts and other streams. I have seen in other generic twitter posts as well where in people admire strong willed introverted people for being independent and not relying on others or who doesn’t work towards belonging in a community.

And then I see the elderly people walking all alone. In some strange flats which they were not part of in their early years. Some very active in the bubble of religion and politics while others with no respite from the end. What do they yearn for? If not for company and the small talk. They did isolate working for too long, earning bread and butter, and now they are having the luscious grand breakfast alone or with the help of a nurse, and some even can’t eat much or enjoy because of age restrictions. Another tweet quoted Nietzsche saying overworking as modern vice. I would not term it as vice as sometimes overworking maybe necessary, but the key point is enjoying life. If those who spend life devoting to work could also make time to enjoy life, making relationships and community that makes you not isolated in the older age, its worth it. Is it not possible to bring about this balance and revel in romanticism than isolating themselves, and achieving success in other professional fields apart from personal life?

Thoughts

Classical favourites

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It all started with “aahista aahista” song from Swades which I was playing as a lullaby for the child. She liked it so much that I went about finding other songs of the same raga, Charukesi. My mind was then immersed with this raga which I’ve been humming for quite a while now.Turns out that it seems to be the favourite raga of A R Rahman. And also Raveendran, the music director in Malayalam. Also I did note that there aren’t much classical musical films like Sargam in Mollywood anymore, which has “Krishna kripasagaram” song in the same raga. Another two of my favourites are “Hey Krishna” and “Geyam harinamadheyam”. The raga seems to evoke shantham, shokam and meditative rasa(emotions). 

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Bangalore life

The whirlpool fiasco

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Like a regular morning, today I put the clothes today in the washing machine and pressed start. It was not turning on. I checked the switch, which was way dusty as it was in the utility area facing the road. I couldn’t figure out the red light was on or off. Earlier this week, another heater switch in the bathroom had to be replaced so it could be this switch now which is at fault. I opened an adda ticket saying switch is not working.

After few minutes, an idea came to my mind. I can check whether the plug point is working or not. I couldn’t drag the washing machine inside so I got the multi plug point bar from my bedside and checked whether my phone charger is working in here or not. Yes it works! :O I ran to close the adda ticket because on a lucky day, the electrician can come within half hour in this society after posting the complaint! I concluded that plug is indeed working and now washing machine is at fault.

I searched Google for customer care for Whirlpool company, called them on the toll free number, raised the issue saying front panel is not working. I was very helpful to the customer care person by saying the issue summarised as “start button not working. That’s all is the issue”. They were very actively responding to my complaints saying that the technician will be there today itself! Wow! What a day. I thought the husband was way too lucky to have such a proactive wife. 

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