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PS: Another forwarded mail which claims the source as Psychology today site…

Human beings crave intimacy, need to love and be loved. Yet people have much trouble doing so.

It’s clear from the many letters I get that lots of folks have no idea what a healthy relationship even looks like. So I’m using this space as an attempt to remedy the problem.

From many sources and many experts, I have culled some basic rules of relationships. This is by no means an exhaustive list. But it’s a start. Print them out and pin them up on your refrigerator door.
Read the rest of this entry »

It is when you stop going along with the crowd and start realizing that there are many things about yourself that you didn’t know and may not like. You start feeling insecure and wonder where you will be in a year or two, but then get scared because you barely know where you are now.

You start realizing that people are selfish and that, maybe, those friends that you thought you were so close to aren’t exactly the greatest people you have ever met, and the people you have lost touch with are some of the most important ones. What you don’t recognize is that they are realizing that too, and aren’t really cold, catty, mean or insincere, but that they are as confused as you.

You look at wat ur studyin or ur job… and it is not even close to what you thought you would be doing, or maybe you are looking for a job and realizing that you are going to have to start at the bottom and that scares you.

Your opinions have gotten stronger. You see what others are doing and find yourself judging more than usual because suddenly you realize that you have certain boundaries in your life and are constantly adding things to your list of what is acceptable and what isn’t. One minute, you are insecure and then the next, secure.

You laugh and cry with the greatest force of your life. You feel alone and scared and confused. Suddenly, change is the enemy and you try and cling on to the past with dear life, but soon realize that the past is drifting further and further away, and there is nothing to do but stay where you are or move forward.

You get your heart broken and wonder how someone you loved could do such damage to you. Or you lie in bed and wonder why you can’t meet anyone decent enough that you want to get to know better. Or maybe you love someone! but love someone else too and cannot figure out why you’re doing this because you know that you aren’t a bad person. Getting wasted and acting like an idiot starts to look pathetic. You go through the same emotions and questions over and over, and talk with your friends about the same topics because you cannot seem to make a decision. You worry about loans, money, the future and making a life for yourself… and while winning the race would be great, right now you are scared just to be a contender!

What you may not realize is that every one reading this relates to it. We are in our best of times and our worst of times, trying as hard as we can to figure this whole thing out. Send this to your twenty-something friends… maybe it will help someone feel like they aren’t alone in their state of confusion…

Its called “Quarter-life Crisis.” nothing is constant……except change. wats life without a few risks?

PS: Got this as a forwarded mail, but found it to be so true……

Music has been always an integral part of my life. I still wonder how I forgot to blog about it till now. Before landing in Chennai, I used to listen mostly, semi-classical, old hindi songs, malayalam or even few tamil songs. English was a total no-no except for the Backstreet Boys, cos I could never understand the words! (:) even the BSB i did not understand that time..) But now, my new passion is listening and experimenting with English famous music. To be frank, I still cannot distinguish between rock, pop, electronica, blues and blah blah.. I know few band names and some songs, which I am loving more n more every time I hear it again. The most captivating is the lyrics in these albums. Simple words describe lot meanings in them… aint it???
For now, I m just listing down few English ones…Â There are lot Hindi ones too with good lyrics.. Hard for me to find in office where all sites are blocked.. So u’ve to wait for more…

MLTR: reality love songs
More than a friend
You took my heart away

DHT: very slow and soft ones
Someone
Listen to your heart

BSB: my favourite one…
Show me the meaning

White Town: hmmm….
Your Woman

Linking Park : The ultimate reality!!
In the end

I guess this is a very delicate topic to write about, but I am sure all people in this world has gone through the phase of the entangling relationships and feelings, where you are uncertain what’s happening to you and your surroundings. People tend to misunderstand most of the time the feelings of dependence as love, or is it true?
I read the following as quoted in a blog from the book Elizabeth George’s “Missing Joseph” where the woman wonders what love is…

I don’t know what it means to love anyone, she realized. I thought it was goodness, a wanting to share. I thought it meant like you hold out your hand and someone takes it, holds it hard, and pulls you safe from the river. You talk. You tell him bits of yourself. You say here’s where I hurt and you give it to him and he holds it and gives you where he hurts in return and you hold it and that’s how you learn to love. You lean where he’s strong. He leans where you’re strong. And there’s a joining somewhere .. ..

I have heard lots of break ups and past relations of few people. In most cases, they think that its their fault or blame the other. Is it wrong to get dependent and keep expectations? I don’t think so. Maybe you have to learn to accept the reality also. As said in DDLJ film, you may dream and you have the right to dream, but don’t ever keep the expectations that the dream and our expectations should be true and should happen at that point of time. I guess thats the reason for most of the friction occurring in any relation.

Even after these small frictions and official breakups, the feelings never change, only the intensity comes down. And feelings are distinguished by their intensity. The base of all feelings are care and concern for the other, and I guess this never changes in any relationship, even though you start to hate the other or even till the end of their life. Relations never die, maybe the intensity reduces to almost to an unknown level.

As posted by Megha, society do play a very important role in confusing the relations. Age maybe the factor when you are young, but there are other reasons in later part of life, when the relations are disturbed and named something else. And the strange thing is the society includes all the learned people and still they do keep the conventional points and rules at heart.

Boys say girls can never be trusted. They change their decisions any time. Gals keep saying boys are cheaters, and they leave them whenever they are enough of the gals. Both boys and gals are human beings and I guess its in their genes to take risk and immature decisions at certain specified ages. Maybe when you realize these, people say you’ve grown up. We tend to accept the reality and try to live in the practical world, making decisions based on feasibility. Maybe we may not be happy as our wishes has not fulfilled. But we move on to find happiness in what we achieve and receive. Be it professional and personal life. We may do cry like a child at times, but regain ourselves, without anyone to understand us or make us understand. We get to know whats the relations are and their importance.

But still, people do move on, accepting the strange ways of relations and also the society, accepting reality and becomes more “practical”, as they say.
Again as Someone said,

“Everything will be OK in the end, if its not, its not the end…”

Maybe this is what you call life. To live with a ray of hope that everything will be ok in the end…

Got this in a sms forward…

I love walking in the rain because no one can see me crying – Charlie Chaplin

May be every smile indeed has a story of tears…..

Few more:

The heart has its reason which reason does not knows!

Dream is not what you see in sleep,
Dream is the thing which does not let you sleep!

With great power comes great responsibility….

So true… For few days, I am gonna have heavy work it seems.. Still, will try to update the blog whenever possible…