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She came in to my life on a fine one day,
But I didnt knew, she came there to stay
We stayed together from then, for a reason,
But i didnt knew, there would be an end to the season.

I loved her round and cute pink face,
Which left me at times in a daze.
Many a times she combs her straight hair,
But as always, she gives up in despair.
I tried initially to convey, but in vain,
That she looked a beauty even in plain.

We travelled in Chennai and went round,
Sharing the old and creating new memories all around,
Being the bubbly and talkative she is,
I would always nod my head in every 2 mins.

We shared the bed and our secrets, but never crossed our path,
We did fight, but always in silent wrath.
But when i fell ill, she gave silently a pill,
And cooked rice, when she never did it before, even for a drill.

Many walked into our lives, and many went away,
But we both saw it through without much sway.
We were called man and wife by some of them,
And we never bothered to correct any of them.

As I stand wondersruck at God’s gift to me,
I wondered about both of our fate and destiny.
I am now forced to leave her there,
Not knowing when to meet her somewhere.

I could feel her pain of loneliness,
But dear, I am also devoid of happiness.
Though I have few friends and an elder sister,
They can never replace you at all, ever either.

I will always be happy at my fate,
To get such a wonderful first room-mate.
As time and life forbids, we met now with parting eyes
But as you said earlier, never ever say good byes…

Jan 6th. May 25th. April 10th. April 28th. June 14th.. so many numbers. I still can’t believe it. Can you?

So many things happening around. Majority of my friends and college mates are getting married this year in 2008. Few already did in 2007. Did they too go through all I am facing now? Some say yes, its all natural and blah blah. But I guess it depends on how you approach the practical aspects apart from the dreamy world you live in. Some just close their dreams and move on with hard-hearted attitude. Some not-so-strong people like me, keep thinking why this is happening, why it didn’t happen that way etc, and keep brooding our minds with mixed thoughts.

Within these two months, there had been huge waves of hopes and dreams and uncertainty.The tide kept changing between high and low. Its almost like I am being dumb and deaf to the outside world and I am tending to withdraw within. As if people have moved on thinking my future is sealed. As if they need not help me anymore. As if they cannot be close to me anymore. There are so many to advise my future decisions, but none to pull me or with me to sail the boat in the turbulence. Some say R.K is there, why I am considering myself alone. Does that mean, married people never feel lonely? I had thought of inter-weaving the interactions with the two separate worlds and thereby forming a new Universal Union of which I can be part of the intersection. But as of now, all are dislike sets and member A is wandering here and there trying to find out its identity to where it belonged to. Career, Shifting location, new life, new friends, the responsibilities, the uncertainty and so on, on one side. The old friends, the inter-woven threads of memories, what about them? Do any of them still miss those sweet moments and chemistry we shared among us even now? So many has got scattered by the winds of time, and the thread seems swinging heavily.

When will the tide be calm?

PS: The PMT sucks!!! (the M stands for marital!!)

Every human being is a social animal. He craves for love and companionship. We may not realize or agree it when we think about it, but when you are left alone in the path of life, you realize that all successes, or all that you achieved does not make you fully happy. Family, relatives, friends, colleagues, life partner etc. Every person needs these, at least any one of them for survival. But the intricacies of the mind leaves us confused regarding all these relations and their meaning and essence in our life. All are different and plays a different role. Human beings are not so lucky to obtain all the relations in one person itself. The levels of importance and impact which these relations have on our life is distinguished by an unknown or undefined line of identification. But as always, this line is not clear or cannot be properly defined.

In this society, we consider family as the most important and is considered as the nucleus of which we are part of. Then there are the relatives, close friends, colleagues and acquaintances in that order. Even in Orkut, you can find the categorization of the same for the friends list. But recently when I tried to do the same, I got confused. There are friends who I have not met, but still are my good friends. There are people whom I know very well, but I seldom talk to them, just like an acquaintance. The same applies for relatives too. There maybe some distant distant relatives who may be integral part of family, but for us, they are just acquaintance. Then there are friends or colleagues to whom we reveal more than what we say to the family. All these complications therefore I feel is based on the dependency factor which becomes crucial in deciding the line of identification. More than blood or water or whatever which decides the thickness, I guess this dependency is what makes the relation thicker or thinner. But to make matters complicated while resolving them, this dependency factor is never constant. It keeps on changing over time, based on availability. But it keeps matters simple and plain, there by supporting the undefined and unnamed relations prevailing in the society.
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August month has so much of memories to me. Lot many stories, so many birthdays. Not only August, but almost all months of the year from August has so many birthdays to remember. Apart from that, what makes August special is the famous Raksha bandhan festival, which is celebrated in northern parts of India as a big festival. Its the day when brother – sister relationship is given importance. Its celebrated in south India too, but not that special. For me, I never ever celebrated this, as I did not had any brothers. Mom used to cook special food and all, but apart from that, this had no relevance at all. But from the last year, I have met so many people who match that category of brothers. Those, who have really made me feel what all I have been missing and the kind of advice and care that brothers give to their sisters. And that too, when some are from different caste, it gives really different sense of aerie. Now, after all this months, when the season has come again, the pearls hooked up in some corner of the minds are being washed once more with the waves of memories, imprinting once more…Time passes by and along with them, the contacts too, and some others eventually has replaced the void; to bestow upon me, the advices and scoldings to change me only to find that whatever they are saying has no effect on me. But the good thing is they still keep on repeating and call me up whenever I need them, in spite of their personal and official busy lives!!

This month end, when all will be wishing and tying rakhi to their loving brothers, I am sure I will be thinking of some good old memories and the friends here as usual will be having a tough time to boost me up!! What to do, I want to change myself, but my mind does not allow me!!!

Hmm, poor brothers!!! Just hold on, I am trying my best…

August 5th. Everyone is busy wishing “Happy Friendship Day” to each other. I guess all do have friends. At least they think they have. But the importance of friends is known only when we are in crisis. When we need the support and care in the way we wish, we turn to them. For bringing back our minds from the big black hole of thoughts n sorrows and to give meaning to life. Friends to whom you can call when you feel dull, when you need money, when you want advice, when you get bored, when you are too happy or anytime…

There is this blog post by Chandni which entrusts the deep loneliness when we don’t have real friends in life. Life’s indeed boring for each n all, but these small small talks, laughs, jokes, incidents keeps you moving on and on… There has been another article on unthanked people, which reflects the importance of many special people in our lives to whom we should be grateful.

Even in our day-to-day lives, we find such saviors, without whom, we feel devastated. For me, most of such people fall in the category of friends. There are others too, unknown strangers who helps us in various forms of life. We keep remembering them and spread good words about them to all. But the near ones, like family n friends, we take for granted. They too should be thanked; why to leave them unthanked. Friendship is present in every relationship. And in the recent years, I have met few people to whom I owe lot, some who still keep in touch, but some who have lost the contact and some who though have the contact, are too lazy to call each other..

Today when the season is approaching, I wish to thank all the friends who came in my life, taught many things, gave me support, and lots of beautiful memories… Happy friendship day, my friend…

Finally it rained here. From past two days, the climate was cloudy here in Chennai. The drizzling rain and the cloudy atmosphere made Chennai beautiful, I guess it makes every city beautiful. The fresh water drops on leaves, the smell of the sand, the chilling wind, the watery road, with small small ponds, with the birds resting on branches shivering after the rain… And to sip hot coffee standing in balcony, with the “Suprabhatam” song in background in the morning, presents you with special freshness and warmth of a new dawn. Rain has always been integral part of my life, it has given me lot many memories and I am sure, it sends to many, along with me, an unknown shiver to the spine and leaves us in a blank expression to think of life.

There was a time, when in this rain, we used to go to schools in June with raincoats and umbrella, and with the worry of drenching the books and our school bag. And then there was the November rain, and the cyclone which unleashed restricting many of them to their homes. Be it June or November, it was a surprise to see the rain in Chennai always. Reminds me of the times when I used to stay in the Kelambakkam Ashram, spending time with friends singing and making noise, with chitchat, watching the boys playing football in the water pool in the rain. So many people under one roof. And there was another time, where I stayed at home, watching from the door, the rain splashing in front of the steps, going in dad’s bike with head down, to school, to meet friends rather than books n teachers, the roaming around in school during lunch time in the rain, with the fear of socks getting wet… And then there is another time, in which we slept cudddled in the afternoons, after lunch, while rain kept making sounds as if singing lullaby and wind blowing as fan… hmmm…

Gone are those days I guess… And with the time, the friends too… So much changes now. Lot many friends spread across the world, some whom we dont contact, though are nearby, books and bag changed to shoes and hair makeup, school and playground changed to companies, with no time even to pick umbrella. People are running fast in life, as individuals. The friendship bonds are now like threads, so thin, so worn out, connecting each other, but which can fade out with one strong wind and which will hang on to another, leaving memories behind…
Listening to song “Tanhayee” from “Dil Chahta Hai“….

This weekend was a special one for me. My first trip to Bangalore to meet my friends (Tina and Reshmy) finally was successful!!! It was a long awaited plan. We were placed in our companies in 2005 and since then we were planning to have a meet in Bangalore!!
Last time when I had planned, I did not get the tickets and whole plan got messed up. Hence this time, I booked long before at KPN travels to and fro Bangalore for May 25th and May 27th night respectively.I had two friends(Saiyan and Vince ) along with me for the to and fro journey though our B’lore plans were different. We boarded from Adyar, and I got down at Madiwala at around 6 in the morning on Saturday.
I’d planned to stay at Tina’s house overnight. She came to pick me at the Madiwala bus stop and we went to her home. After a cup of coffee, we played around with the “acoustic” guitar and her brand new Compaq Presario laptop (!! !!) At around 12 – 12.30pm, we reached at The Forum to book the film tickets for Sunday. There we picked up Reshmy and then tried for the film, “Life in a Metro”. But unfortunately we got the tickets for SpiderMan 3 only. Nevertheless, carrying the tickets, we moved on to take an auto to Garuda Mall, as we set aside Forum hang out for Sunday. But we indeed found time to have a double scoop icecream from Baskin n Robbins shared among three!!
The Garuda Mall was as big as Chennai Citi center with the food court and the huge shops. We had food at the food court, not to forget the struggle for finding a seat in that crowd!( ) I was too sleepy and tired (maybe cos of the journey, or else I don’t get that easily tired! I swear! You don’t believe me right? Thank you! ) After few mins of “bird-watching”, we were planning to go to Fab india and few more window-shopping, but I was too tired and sleepy, and hence we went back to Tina’s house, and I had an indeed good sleep! Woke up at 6-6.30 but still was too sleepy to hang out. We went to Reshmy’s place ; not to forget the horrible fight with the first adamant autowalah, who refused to put the meter!! In between BTM bus stop to her place, we checked in the food world, and then had “corn” on the way home.

Finally after reaching back to Tina’s place, we three placed home delivery orders which reached after few mins. We had Mazaa as “drink” ( ) along with the Kulcha’s and fried rice and the paneer curry. Since there was nothing else to do with the guitar and her lappy, we decided to play on scrabble at 11 in the night which went on till 1.30 in the morning!! Resh topped the game which finished with my “OZ” ( ). We also called some of our school friends Ashwini and Shino and the double coincidence was that it was Ashwini’s Birthday on Sunday!!! Memories flew back to our minds and started chirping heavily till we dozed off…

Sunday I woke up at around 10 am!!! ( ), crumbling all the planned schedule. As there was no other go, (yeah, 10 to 1 is not enough for 3 girls to get ready .. what you thought!! ) we had noodles as breakfast and managed to reach the PVR at exactly 1.15 for the 1.30 show. Grabbing popcorn n pepsi cups, we finally got in the theatre to find that the rows allocated were just 4th away from the screen!! Hmm…
After film, at around 4 we rushed to the Pizza hut in the Forum, as it was the long awaited wish of Resh to have pizza!! Resh’s friends-cum-roomies were also there with us for the film and also the Pizza. By the time we got out, it was already 5.30 and there was the Commercial Street left!! Before that, we checked in the Big Bazaar nearby and bought 2 handbags one for me and one for Resh. Strolling down the commercial street, we shopped from the road-side shops, and then checked into the Titan showroom for getting the Fasttrack for TRV. (Short form for Tina!! , nice abbrv. right??? hehe) After huge confusion, we finally selected one, and me n Resh decided to buy it for TRV as b’day gift! But alas!, with her sharp eyes, she found a small scratch which even the ants wont have found out and we had to drop the plan. Taking down the model number, we moved on back and forth the street, to get my watch repaired and also to get some shawls, with the main thing as the gift for TRV which we couldn’t get till the end!

After all these, when we were about to leave, rains splashed like hell and stopped us in the shop for about 15 mins!! Till that time, I had good opinion of B’lore with cool climate and good roads and malls n that n this, but now, when need came, not even one auto was ready to give lift for us!!! When the rain subsided, we had to walk in the water-till-knee till the nearest junction, across and forth, and finally as if miracle, one autowalah agreed to go till Koramangala!! In that shock I even asked him whether he is really ready to go!!! Anyways it was already nearing 8.30 and my bus boarding time was at 9.30 from Madiwala. The huge traffic at the night with the flowing water, and cars and motorists splashing them onto us, while some foreigners inhaled and puffed out stylishly in the adjacent car, throwing the last piece out in the road, the clear lightning through the trees above, reaching home half drenched, hurrying up with packing n changing, with TRV helping and Resh buying biscuits which I didn’t had, the running back to the main street to get an auto which we got finally for 50 bucks!!(From Venkatapura to Madiwala), and finally the checking in at KPN travels office!!! Phew! What a race!!
My friends left me at the office, after my travel-cum-online friends Saiyan n Vince turned up. The return journey was smooth except for the long wait at Bomanahalli as the bus was late and did not start until 11. I’d planned to get down as near as possible, but we came to know late that it doesn’t stop nearby my place and hence me n Saiyan got down at T.Nagar, from which at an expense of 170 bucks in auto!!, we both reached our respective homes!!!

The trip was excellent and a refreshing one for me, and I am really planning to go there again.. Yeah baby one more time!!!