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“Lucky hote hai woh jinhe zindagi mein doosra mauka miltha hai…”

Yesterday, on the fly, we got tickets for Rock On!!! And it was absolutely rocking. I don’t want to review it. I couldn’t view it as a film. It portrayed characters with some shades of mine, rather you, or everyone.

The film spoke of the rock band, Magik, which did live performances and created wonders. It spoke of the drift in life, in which they are carried away with the compromises of life. I too, rather ,each one of us has created Magik in our yesteryears. I don’t mean live performances or great music. But some magic moments. At various phases in my life. There were KD, Joe and Rob, Tanya and Debbie in many of those whom I met. There was the reminiscent Tea stall in the form of restaurants and other hang outs. There was even Sakshi amongst us, who tried to bring out the real “us”  from inside. And there were the drift aparts too. It has not been 10 years as in the film, but time has taken its toll already, and is dominating. Are we gonna miss the 10 years? Are we really satisfied with the way we live? Are we really happy? Are we being the real? What is it that we are lacking? What if, we don’t get a second chance unlike in the film? Or did we miss the second chance? What if, we are not lucky as Rob in real life?  Do we need to wait for another Sakshi and Devika to sprung up in our lives and take us back once again to recreate Magik? What’s pulling us back to take the initiative???

“..kab woh mera peecha chodenge?..”
“…jab tum unse bhaagna bandh kar dhoge…“

Its been long that I watched television serials or rather followed them keenly.

I still remember the pre-engineering days or holidays when I had nothing to do at home apart from attending entrance tuitions. I was booming into or outta my adolescence age. My favourite channels were the top notch hindi channels, including Star Plus, Sony TV, Zee Tv, and few others. And if I ever got bored I used to skip to some English ones too but just for a break. The timings were late in the afternoon say, from 2 to 4, and after a while it started as early as 12.30 and extended upto 5pm..! All the K-serials were part of my daily routine, and prime time ones were favorites of mom too… But I alone could watch the re-telecast of the episodes in afternoon, if we ever missed them at night. Of the English ones, I rarely saw the kid-doctor series and the wonder years in Star World aired from 4.30 to 5.30pm. They were stories of boys and girls of my age and why shouldn’t I like them and their experiences retold in the form of a series. I have forgotten almost the English series names and I am trying hard to revive those memories through my various searches in youtube. I caught hold of The Wonder Years, but not the brilliant kid who became doc at 16. The addiction at that age to anything you are gifted with, was clear now when I look back at those years.

Now, being at home full time, I am bestowed upon the full opportunity to view any and all, I don’t feel that urge anymore. Its as if the excitement has worn out. In all the almost three years I lived away from home, I have gone accustomed not watching tv, or movies. And especially not alone. Almost a similar phase, but at different time of life and at a different place. And you find the passion is not there. Is it the same for most of the desires?

Its another new year. As usual, I was watching TV when the clock striked twelve, watching how people enjoyed new year all over the world. This had been my routine from my childhood. This habit had been guided by my own sister, who was a TV freak, and especially with the special new year programmes aired on the same, we were almost glued to it on new year’s eve.

Over the last two years, the routine had changed owing to my change in location to Chennai. But this year, it was refreshing to be at home again. As I sat along the sofa surfing the channels, the time was playing itself rewinding all the memories in front of me. How the times have changed.!

I was there, lying on my sis’ lap watching SRK’s latest movie climax. And Amma was preparing dinner, Appa watching the film over the dining table, and advising me to come and sit beside him, with the usual dose of advice that eyes will go kaput if I watch that idiot box at such a small distance.

I was there in the inner room, when my brother-in-law came to see my sister at Cochin. On the way back home, Amma and sis was talking about the groom. The engagement was decided on Jan 4th and I was in my 9th about to join my class after X’mas holidays. On Feb 14th, my bro-in-law had sent a red balloon heart to my sis. I don’t remember whether they had talked over phone, just as in the new generation where in they don’t wait for “ladki dekhna” function to start phoning each other.

I was there running around the tensed Amma and Appa during marriage preparations. The wedding card was plain and simple; the wedding had to be held in Cochin near the groom’s house; the sarees were brought from Nagercoil, for which we travelled in bus for 3 hours. I hated the saree and jewellery shops from childhood and the huge rampo revolving around it. And for the same reason I don’t remember any of the other preparations.

I was there, carrying the shoulder bag and purse of my parents nearby the wedding stage. I was about to enroll in my tenth standard when this happened. I still remember the wedding hall and the known faces present for the marriage. My sis was forced to wear saree as per the old tradition, which no one had ever worn in these days, and being the old-fashioned custom prevailing, my parents were eager not to say a word against the groom family, though it meant crushing sis’s wishes. And then when leaving sis at her new home, I saw the tiny drop at the corner of her eye and I wondered why…

Now I am here on another Jan 4th in Chennai after celebrating new year at my sweet home.

I still cannot believe that I had been living independently for two years and that too far at a metro city like Chennai! There had been many sweet and sour experiences over these years. Every year have one or the other memories or milestones which I came across. I have met so many friends, and I am happy that I could understand myself better through them. As my Amma says, there are lot many things I have to know in this world, and I prefer to learn it the hard way. As some one said, experience is the best teacher. But with all these happenings in these two years I am not able to segregate the thoughts together. Life is moving very fast without giving time to plan my present or the future, not that I am expert in it, but still.

I would be there, in the hall this Sunday Jan 6th at Kollam. All the eyes would be on me, on what I have worn, as if checking out, just as I had done at all the similar functions I attended. But very few of them would be knowing whats going on in my mind, when I would be walking across. The rest would be small kids roaming around wondering, why such a crowd here, collecting the memories to write another similar post after ten years…

Strange how some events repeat year after year…!

PS: I am getting engaged to R.K on Jan 6th 2008 at Swayamvara Auditorium, South Collectorate, Kollam. All are invited…

Happy New Year 2008!

Its the end of October
And the start of November
Splashing across are waves; tender,
yet along with the rains n thunder.

The distant horizon,
The dormant expectations,
The glaring vision,
The never-ending confusions…

Online friends, or unseen or unmet friends…

It had been my old habit of talking to strangers. The world of internet had opened to me long back, a new way to make new friends. Being member of various tech forums( don ask why I joined them! ), I had so many acquaintances to whom I could chat online in yahoo/msn messengers. There was a peak time, which even persuaded me to enter the chat rooms and I was chatting in 3-4 windows simultaneously with strangers starting with the “asl”. I don’t remember the names now, but I do remember that I had talked to one person who claimed to be from Pakistan. And there was also another person who was so talkative and so impressive in his talk and humour style. Now, when I think back of those days, a smile or rather a sheepish grin originates around the corner of my lips.

Though I had been the regular member of Tech Arena and then the Tech Enclave, it all started with the Digit forums. There are some long lost members who know me (and vice versa) by just an online name and nothing more. But there were few who kept the relation going, and thankfully to them, it is still active, through some strange bond, and also with the help of the common link Chennai, blogging and of course the messenger! Over these years, I knew them only through the posts they make in some new tech forums, the yahoo chats we have, and the photos in orkut, the mobile smses, and very few have gone up to the stage of mobile calls (that too some calling almost daily or twice a week!). The chains were missing in between for a while, but I guess its the Time who linked the broken links of the chain to bring us more closer. These unknown but, friendly strangers, have grown close to play important roles in my life in the form of brothers, friends and some more than that.. It is indeed a strange experience, to discuss with a person, whom you never met, though you have either seen the face or heard the voice. And especially, when they grow up to become your closest friends in your life, just like one of the Top friends in Facebook. The relation may get worse or better after the meet, but I guess its always the same whenever you meet any of them for the first time. Though I agree and I should warn others to be careful while disclosing the details to your online friends.

The month of October has lots of memories related to me in the past two years. And I hope, this month it will turn out to be yet another memorable month. Before any such meeting with online friends, I always feel an excitement, creating a big hush of waves in my mind shore, of past storms, of the hidden consolation, or of unknown future.. Maybe I am again just into such an emotion, as usual…

Hmmmm……

Yesterday, I lost the stone-studded silver lucky ring while shooing away some flies. Some says its unlucky to lose gold and silver. What unluck more is going to come, I wonder…