Archana Online.com

Continued from the previous post.…

7. Its been very long time, that I had written a very long post, owing to make it easy for the readers (if any). But today, I am going out of control. Maybe its the silence within and outside looming around. People ask me if I am so bored at home, why don’t I try for job. Or they keep asking about the married life. I guess, every married girl of my age who got recently married, would have got fed up completely with such unanswerable questions they are pestered with. There is so much uncertainty about some aspects in your life and some decisions of our life, that it takes time to hit the bottom of the pit of thoughts. There are many I know who have got recently married and I am sure, they are asked almost the same questions like how’s married life or even the “dreaded question”. The answers maybe different as lives are not the same everywhere, (or are they? I mean atleast certain aspects???), but the questions are pretty much the same. I am sure, this is something which we can’t avoid from society and friends as silence is not preferred to “Wassup” and “hi,  how are you” and “nothing much” and “going on” at any cost…. Those are some inevitable pool of words which binds long lost people around the world. So I guess we need to accept it and acknowledge the fact that we cannot get away from them. So no more cribbing on that part I suppose…

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Long back in November, Yahoo decided to shake me off by closing its Yahoo photos. I had stored so many photos in it, ranging from my experiments to my portraits! It left me with few options to transfer my photos, and being the bright net addict and knowledgeable that I am, I chose flickr.

Since then, I had loaded and loaded more into it, using the mass uploader option of flickr.com. Initially I was having hard time, knowing about sets, collections, and groups, but slowly as any hardworker conquering and completing its assigned task, I mastered them (er.. did I… yet??!!).

Then came the catch! I was notified that what I was experiencing over the weeks were just a trial version of the paid version of flickr which was about to expire in few days! And I was not about to pay hundreds just to show case my photos. I was not an official photographer!

The limited version created a hell lot of probs, one of which was the archive!!! They archive automatically the older photos and I was not able to see or edit retrieve it back!! What the hell was it! They were like capturing my precious photos in a deceitful way and asking ransom now to give it back!??? They should have mentioned it, rather Yahoo should have mentioned all these details when they help out their customers in transferring the photos to other third party agents!!!

I have stopped using it, and I am transferring my photos to other places (as of now its picasaweb.. don’t know when its going to deceive me now! ) slowly, and trying to recover the old ones from the archive of flickr!!! Phew man! what a task!!!

.::Prologue::.

Why the hell I am like this?
I am pretty sure that this question would have been asked by all to themselves at some point of their life. There are so many characteristics in ourselves, which we hate or for which we don’t have an answer as to why its like that. Some say its attitude problems, some say, I am pathetic, some say, I think too much, some say, I am a hottie, or very much short tempered. Why am I like this?

I agree, I get to react for very very silly things, and very small things, but I don’t know, I am like that. I am too lazy to take the leadership for helping hand, or to study more, or to take part in any activities. I feel I really need inspiration to move on or to do anything. People say, the inspiration comes from self but I have been calling out to the so-called self to help me out, but I guess its so ziddi (arrogant??) like me; it reacts differently at different times. Even for blogging, I never think too much. If given a topic to write on, I cannot write on it. And this is why I fail to write meme’s quite often. Its just that, some days I just woke up with that blogging mind and some other days with blank mind. The various thoughts starts cumulating up in my mind due to various triggers like the small silly things happening around me to others, or some specific behaviour of friends n family, or it could even be due to some words used by someone to me. I have wondered or rather asked my self, what I want to become, what is my goal, or what do I aim for, why I feel like doing this and that, what is worth and what not, what are my principles or values which I follow, blah blah… But as always, the vision is sometimes blurred.

I guess maybe if someone writes a biography on me, they would know why I have been like this, but only maybe.. The shaping up of genes and their properties is still a mystery to whole world, then why blaming each other for no fault of theirs! Why cant people accept as they are? I feel, maybe there is a limit for our brain cells, to bear the tantrums of another only to a certain extent, and when this limit exceeds, we tend to feel that the other person is not good or has a crazy character. Its their own deficiency that their cells or genes cannot adapt to the vibrations of the other, yet we tend to blame the others. Maybe this trait too is part of the common genetic disorders. This psychological science has always fascinated me, and I keep wondering on the behavioural traits of people. All those abstract terms, the common ones being good and bad, are absolutely relative… Few people shared the same thoughts of this relativity and I really miss the deep discussions we had over the same…

Other than the basic core cells already formed in me, I guess its more of the external stimuli like environment which we live in and grow up which makes up our behavioural traits. And till another external or internal ( wake up!!)stimuli triggers to provide me with the answers, I guess I will keep on asking myself, main aisi kyun hoon…..

.::Epilogue::.

Online friends, or unseen or unmet friends…

It had been my old habit of talking to strangers. The world of internet had opened to me long back, a new way to make new friends. Being member of various tech forums( don ask why I joined them! ), I had so many acquaintances to whom I could chat online in yahoo/msn messengers. There was a peak time, which even persuaded me to enter the chat rooms and I was chatting in 3-4 windows simultaneously with strangers starting with the “asl”. I don’t remember the names now, but I do remember that I had talked to one person who claimed to be from Pakistan. And there was also another person who was so talkative and so impressive in his talk and humour style. Now, when I think back of those days, a smile or rather a sheepish grin originates around the corner of my lips.

Though I had been the regular member of Tech Arena and then the Tech Enclave, it all started with the Digit forums. There are some long lost members who know me (and vice versa) by just an online name and nothing more. But there were few who kept the relation going, and thankfully to them, it is still active, through some strange bond, and also with the help of the common link Chennai, blogging and of course the messenger! Over these years, I knew them only through the posts they make in some new tech forums, the yahoo chats we have, and the photos in orkut, the mobile smses, and very few have gone up to the stage of mobile calls (that too some calling almost daily or twice a week!). The chains were missing in between for a while, but I guess its the Time who linked the broken links of the chain to bring us more closer. These unknown but, friendly strangers, have grown close to play important roles in my life in the form of brothers, friends and some more than that.. It is indeed a strange experience, to discuss with a person, whom you never met, though you have either seen the face or heard the voice. And especially, when they grow up to become your closest friends in your life, just like one of the Top friends in Facebook. The relation may get worse or better after the meet, but I guess its always the same whenever you meet any of them for the first time. Though I agree and I should warn others to be careful while disclosing the details to your online friends.

The month of October has lots of memories related to me in the past two years. And I hope, this month it will turn out to be yet another memorable month. Before any such meeting with online friends, I always feel an excitement, creating a big hush of waves in my mind shore, of past storms, of the hidden consolation, or of unknown future.. Maybe I am again just into such an emotion, as usual…

Hmmmm……

August 5th. Everyone is busy wishing “Happy Friendship Day” to each other. I guess all do have friends. At least they think they have. But the importance of friends is known only when we are in crisis. When we need the support and care in the way we wish, we turn to them. For bringing back our minds from the big black hole of thoughts n sorrows and to give meaning to life. Friends to whom you can call when you feel dull, when you need money, when you want advice, when you get bored, when you are too happy or anytime…

There is this blog post by Chandni which entrusts the deep loneliness when we don’t have real friends in life. Life’s indeed boring for each n all, but these small small talks, laughs, jokes, incidents keeps you moving on and on… There has been another article on unthanked people, which reflects the importance of many special people in our lives to whom we should be grateful.

Even in our day-to-day lives, we find such saviors, without whom, we feel devastated. For me, most of such people fall in the category of friends. There are others too, unknown strangers who helps us in various forms of life. We keep remembering them and spread good words about them to all. But the near ones, like family n friends, we take for granted. They too should be thanked; why to leave them unthanked. Friendship is present in every relationship. And in the recent years, I have met few people to whom I owe lot, some who still keep in touch, but some who have lost the contact and some who though have the contact, are too lazy to call each other..

Today when the season is approaching, I wish to thank all the friends who came in my life, taught many things, gave me support, and lots of beautiful memories… Happy friendship day, my friend…

Netvibes: This site can be used for free as a collection of all feeds almost like My Yahoo or My Msn. It contains lot many modules and can be easily customized by the drag and drop feature.

Online FTP: Some people suggest inbuilt FTP from the browsers. I am yet to try such apps, but as of now, I use this online ftp method to access the ftp server of the blog.

Cheer up: A good guide to cheer you up whenever you feel low. It contains all the encouraging words for you to boost your spirits. Read on. You may feel that the nanny is available on net!!! Thanks to Ashwin for the link.

Wordpress Plugins – Again!: Nowadays whenever I stumble upon blogs or sites, I have a special interest towards the sites or blogs wherever the word “plugins”, “themes”, “blog”, “earn” etc. Here are the few 3 I have in my list:

Life Hack
Tech Corner
John TP

Frequent mentioning of the plugins might have given you a hint already that I am planning to install lot many plugins and try them out, so you can expect another related post on the same.

And if you find any delay in between the posts, hang on, I may be just thinking how to jot it down…:D

Google Reader: Inspired from Ashwin’s posts on Google Reader, I had started using the RSS reader sometime ago, and I’m lovin’ it more n more day by day. It gives me lot inspiration to read n write and become active in this blogging world. So many blog posts created each day spanning several topics that the innovative idea of the RSS reader to share their favourites is highly appreciated. I don’t have much shared items but found that we can broadcast the marked items in our website as shown in the sidebar of my blog. Or you can share it using the direct link. I invite my readers to share their shared items/bookmarks etc.

Publicize: After reading so many posts on making money from blogging and adsense and publicizing, I am now randomly submitting my blog to most sites like Feed Burner, India Counts, Technorati etc. (By the way, wanna add my blog to Technorati favourites? )

Wordpress plugins: I am planning to add the “Related Posts” plugin and some sidebar modifications. Thinking whether to add the Post rating plugin also. But too lazy to install n edit the themes… More over, I guess all my posts are related already, and coming to track popular or top rated ones, how do I know whether any posts can be popular or top rated, unless you, the readers, provide any feedback! So please provide me any feedback on plugins to be installed or for that matter any feedback is welcome. Meanwhile, lot of post topics pending, personal thoughts and meme’s..Hmm..

Songs/Lyrics Download: Last weekend when I was at home, I was searching lot sites which provides free download of songs and found some here n here.

WebSites: Came across some Indian sites while surfing for submitting my blog to them. Indian pad, India Counts and Best of Indya are among them.

The blog title inspired from Webscape of Click Online program aired in BBC World.

Bluediamond. I registered in the digit magazine’s community forum under this name. I don’t remember now, how i coined this name, myself and my cousin might have coined it together at that time. I registered there mainly to solve the comp queries as everyone do.

I got to know few ID’s, lots of links, softwares, tips, other forums, and also what people do online.Out of the few forums, there was Tech Arena, which was formed from Digit members long back… The community was new, members were few and also known virtual faces. I was like in a community school, with bunch of geeky heads, (of course boys!), and with pretty of information passed around. As always spam was there, new interesting threads were created, people added each other on messengers. The discussions on forums, continued in form of conferences over messengers. I became was frequent in this new forum, while I checked out on the old digit forums too. I got to know people like Andy, Pallab, Neha, Grudgy, Sreejith, Digen, Deep, it_waaznt_me and many more from digit..(It seems these people split from digit and formed Techspot.in)..and large list of people from TechArena including Deejay, QuickFire, Anshul, Masky, Switch, Renegade, Aces, Hooligan, Inzider, IceFusion, Medpal, Sunmysore, Venkat, Bosky, Bottle, Blade_Runner.. the list is huge!!! I was kinda getting addicted to the forums and online community, when another split happened and Techenclave was formed. But stil, the old friends were there, some new joined, some left the gang.

All this to just remind me of my old days. Now thinking of the past, I don’t even remember the forums I joined, I created, I spent time on, I read through, I registered… What am I doing? What were I doing online? It gave me lot new people, gave insights of many world, many views, and also the opportunity to meet different people! But then who am I in their minds? A respected member? A friend? A techie girl? Or a flirt? Or a girl whom you can chat with online for time pass? Some people have said, that these online friends are not at all trustful. They just are chatting with me friendly with the intentions of you-know-what.. Are they?

I went on to the online meets in Chennai, without any hesitation. And there, the “bluediamond” was a odd-girl out among the whole bunch of big guys..To be really frank, I am from a usual conservative family and like all families of young girls, they too were reluctant to my decisions initially. But I still moved on.. But these questions have always been lingering in my mind..Do the people whom I talk to, know who I am? Can they understand me? What do they think when talking with me? What am I to them? Do they also consider me as friend as I consider them?

Sometimes I feel like stopping everything and move out of this virtual world. But then what is good in this real world.. The forums, the sites, the internet as a whole, at times have boosted up my spirits, when I had really nothing to do at home. I had many other options, I may still have, but i don’t think the online life is so long. One day, it will really come to an end, and then “bluediamond” may not be alive.. Only me will be left. Who will be remembered then? Bluediamond or me? Or will I ever be remembered? Lots of people have already moved on. As time goes on, I really wonder, whether anyone would ever remember those (beautiful?) clippings of life where we all were together in the big world of virtual community….