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People say “marriages are made in heaven”. But they forget that after marriage they have to live on this earth!

The first year is supposed to be the most beautiful moments, after the engagement to marriage period. I do not deny, but then we never know what lies in the future. May be its more bright than now? They say love dithers over years especially when all get busy with their lives and responsibility increases over money, land, parents, children and themselves. But maybe its just that love has found its base, and has gotten invisible over the years, just as the love we have towards our parents. Read the rest of this entry »

The streaks of the sun said good morning to me through the window. The kitchen was now brightly lit. It looked like one of those photos taken by the professionals. Everything was perfectly arranged in the cupboards. Except for the few dishes in the sink.

I went to the dressing wardrobe and picked up my diary from beneath. The environment was perfect for unloading the words.

“This is my daily job. To get up early in the morning, prepare the tea and breakfast, and then this dish cleaning after he left to office. Sometimes, I start on the laptop before i wash the dishes. They can wait, but not my parents. It would be late night for them. Just delaying their early sleep and sitting by on the machine, waiting for their daughter to call up. Then around 11, I take my bath and have to prepare for lunch. The timings of both were never consistent. The latter would be skipped sometimes, if at all he never knocks the door at noon. And then, the whole of the afternoon dedicated to myself, my thoughts and just me. It had become my routine.

The afternoon thoughts have now blended into my mind and body. It was the same everyday. As in the famous film Zanjeer, what is it that I don’t have? I live in an average rented house. I have a  loving husband who takes extreme care of me, and who earns dollars and takes me out on most nights and weekends in our car. I have a bunch of friends who keeps asking about me and the luxuries I enjoy at this abroad home. The missing of parents and relatives is natural for a newly married woman as the pains during the childbirth. What then is missing? Read the rest of this entry »

Just short of few days to complete one month… Yes, its been more than 3 weeks of my marriage.

People keeps asking how is the new life. As if I have resurrected from an escaped car accident! Maybe I have changed. Have I? As they say, everything lies in the eyes of the beholder. My perpective may be different from others.

I am blank for past few weeks. So many things happening, new relations, new families, new environment, new friends, new town. I agree everything is new. But aint I still the same? I don’t feel myself now. As if I have been pushed to a new world. But if I rethink, I am not absorbed by the new whirlpool yet. I guess I am on the edge. If you ask what’s on my mind, I am unsure. There were so many I wanted to think of, but it doesn’t settled on one lest to pour them out! There are so many things I am missing now, but also excited of the uncertain life ahead. It seems strange when people who knows you treats you as someone else, but it also feels good when unknown people starts respecting you for being Mrs. I know I am not just a friend or a daughter anymore, I am more than that… But… Is it that being too good to me, has disadvantages also?

I feel I am losing my self, even when I am gaining a new identity… What am I now??!!