Archana Online.com

Today, I was just going through the archives. I feel that I have reduced penning down my thoughts and feelings. Rather the short stories, movie reviews, articles, recent happenings are the topics I have been blogging off late.

There was a time, when I used to blog, when my mind blew out of the proportion with suffocating words and rants. For me, at that time, I never cared about the number of readers, or the traffic. I blurted out all my thoughts, sometimes directly or sometimes through analogy. I used to finish the posts within half hour or so, and without spell checking or re-reading the draft, I just published.

Now looking back, I feel those posts do have a personal touch and is more readable. Like the innocent outburst of a child. It worked, because things happened at that time. The race with time, the busy life schedule with many many things, the glimpses at various nook n corner of city life which gave spark to various thoughts and views.

I do not wonder what has changed. I know what has happened. And I know what should I do to change. But then, something is pulling me back. Maybe its the fears or the various choices available. The point of time when you feel like slapping yourself for the inability. The time when heart says lovingly to wake up, and when mind pushes it down with the lame and age-old excuses of practicality. The time when you await for your heart and the soul to win over the mind battle. The time when you await the death so that you could be re-born to a fresh life.

People say, time heals everything. It answers the strangling questions you have been asking in the early ages. But then, how do we wait for time until it heals or gives me the answers? Isn’t time running away? From me and from my life?

The vortex has knocked me out into the deep darkness of unconsciousness.

PS: This post too has been completed now within half hour. You do have it in you, when it wants to surmount you.

The rain started drizzling all of a sudden. The streaks of water drops were lashing and swaying amongst the winds.

It was getting cold. I remained lied down in bed. As though my mind was sleeping and body awake. I closed my eyes. Some black and white images got rendered across them. I opened my eyes. I couldn’t survive it anymore. I enabled the songs from my Walkman phone. Loud. So that it could drive away all the sleepiness from my mind. I closed my eyes. No images now. Great. I succeeded. It was then the rain started.

I got up heavily and moved over to the window. Slightly opened one inch of it. I sniffed a bit. To smell the earth. I couldn’t get anything. Maybe, it got dried up too. Just like the tears of broken heart.Maybe the earth too cried. She couldn’t control the spinning neither the revolution. She was destined. To live without day and night and to witness everything that goes on within her and on her surface. Read the rest of this entry »

I had plans of writing some blog posts, and had already written few, but not feeling like publishing them, cos it does not represent my state of mind today. For few days now, I feel like writing some cribbing posts, then felt cribbing is not a good thing to do. I am also getting angry at silly things, for tiny tiny events happening around me. I feel such emotions are felt, when some matters disturbs our inner state of mind. Strange is the human mind which generates so much emotions and associated thoughts. We have the anger, happy, sad, disappointment, pain, blankness, blah blah… And if not through one, it find its own way to be expressed out in some other form. Anyways I do not want to write a bad post in such a mood. Also I dont think anyone likes to read or cares about such rants of mine. Dont worry readers(if any), I will try my best to come back soon… I guess I ranted too much already. Aint I?? Hmmm…