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Why do we wanna fall in love?

This was a dialogue in the film, The Mirror Has Two Faces, recently aired in an English Movie channel. The thoughts about love, the science behind it, the hormones evolved, the feelings generated, are these the answers? Some say its complicated, but still they do not want the loneliness.

By love here, I did not meant the common notion of love. I would rather extend the question by changing it to,

“Why do we wanna be loved?”

Now, this type of love, can in be of any form. Close friends or confidante, best friends, co-workers, room mates, parents, siblings, spouse, children, or for that matter, any stranger. I recently heard on the “First Ladies” interview show, a definition of love, from our own SRK, that says, love comprises various ingredients in various proportions, the ratio which changes over time. I truly agree to it. Maybe this multiplicity factor complicates it more. Read the rest of this entry »

Every time in February, when this day arrives, i could hear mixed emotions from different people. Some say, why they need it, some cry that they are still single, and some other cherishes the special moments they weave up on that day.  I had already penned down my thoughts on the Valentine’s day long before and they remain still true for me.

With the recent protests and campaigns the spirit has got boosted, maybe people are making plans already. And if you haven’t I guess you should. Read the rest of this entry »

Another birthday passing by.

Does it really matter to celebrate the birthdays?

I remember calling in the neighbour family to cut the cake n all, and singing “Happy Birthday to You” when I was young. I used to wear new “color dress” in school while others wore their school uniform. They sang the same song again, and I used to distribute the chocolates mostly “Eclairs” or “Lion King” carrying to each desk. I used to get fed up saying “Thank you” to each one of them.

Early that morning at dawn, when I wake up to mom’s call from Kitchen, its not any different. When she see me, she starts singing the wish song loud from the kitchen itself, while I brush my teeth!. As if proclaiming to the world and to the house, that its her daughter’s birthday. And then, in evening, when she comes from office at around 6- 6.30, we cut the cake and share it during the late tea session. If it comes on a holiday, “payasam” would be prepared.

In college, there was no color dress. But there was “new” dress. There was no group singing of “Happy Birthday”. Instead, it shortened to “treat”. Birthday treat. It started as Rs.5/- wala “munch” and “perk ” and went on to become lunch treats as we reached the graduation days. There were festive days combined with, mostly “Diwali” and “ThriKarthika”.

At office, the lunch treats, new dress, wishes continued along with the addition of gifts and birthday bumps. The only time my room mates could lift me up and kick my a** was last year. It was the first and I guess, the last time, I received them. At the end, I felt sorry for the huge effort by the kiddo’s to life the Gulliver’s sister!!! There were balloons, there was “payasam” again, the temple visits, birthday cards, dinners, and lots of gifts.

And now, as I hit the silver jubilee, I am at this home, trying to live the role of a housewife, sitting on the pc, holding in my hand, a plate of piece of cake, bought and cut yesterday night, and blogging with the other, replying to sms messages and attending calls, very few ones, wondering whether to get up and make the “payasam” for myself and being lazy, sitting back and recollecting the old memories…

I guess its a different kind of celebration….ain’t it?

She came in to my life on a fine one day,
But I didnt knew, she came there to stay
We stayed together from then, for a reason,
But i didnt knew, there would be an end to the season.

I loved her round and cute pink face,
Which left me at times in a daze.
Many a times she combs her straight hair,
But as always, she gives up in despair.
I tried initially to convey, but in vain,
That she looked a beauty even in plain.

We travelled in Chennai and went round,
Sharing the old and creating new memories all around,
Being the bubbly and talkative she is,
I would always nod my head in every 2 mins.

We shared the bed and our secrets, but never crossed our path,
We did fight, but always in silent wrath.
But when i fell ill, she gave silently a pill,
And cooked rice, when she never did it before, even for a drill.

Many walked into our lives, and many went away,
But we both saw it through without much sway.
We were called man and wife by some of them,
And we never bothered to correct any of them.

As I stand wondersruck at God’s gift to me,
I wondered about both of our fate and destiny.
I am now forced to leave her there,
Not knowing when to meet her somewhere.

I could feel her pain of loneliness,
But dear, I am also devoid of happiness.
Though I have few friends and an elder sister,
They can never replace you at all, ever either.

I will always be happy at my fate,
To get such a wonderful first room-mate.
As time and life forbids, we met now with parting eyes
But as you said earlier, never ever say good byes…

Just short of few days to complete one month… Yes, its been more than 3 weeks of my marriage.

People keeps asking how is the new life. As if I have resurrected from an escaped car accident! Maybe I have changed. Have I? As they say, everything lies in the eyes of the beholder. My perpective may be different from others.

I am blank for past few weeks. So many things happening, new relations, new families, new environment, new friends, new town. I agree everything is new. But aint I still the same? I don’t feel myself now. As if I have been pushed to a new world. But if I rethink, I am not absorbed by the new whirlpool yet. I guess I am on the edge. If you ask what’s on my mind, I am unsure. There were so many I wanted to think of, but it doesn’t settled on one lest to pour them out! There are so many things I am missing now, but also excited of the uncertain life ahead. It seems strange when people who knows you treats you as someone else, but it also feels good when unknown people starts respecting you for being Mrs. I know I am not just a friend or a daughter anymore, I am more than that… But… Is it that being too good to me, has disadvantages also?

I feel I am losing my self, even when I am gaining a new identity… What am I now??!!

Ways to Achieve success; Power of now; Law of Attraction;

Spiritual enlightening books. How do they motivate us? Do they?

I have been reading quite a few ones, like Alchemist, Tuesdays with Morrie, Fish, and some ways to achieve success etc. Most of them carry a single message and keep repeating it through every sequences/scenarios.

People are mostly composed of oscillating thoughts comprised of their dreams and practicality. They do have so many options of living life, the various established (un)realistical myths of right and wrong. The difficult part is to choose to follow. We do accept or hear various views, keeping apart our opinions and views in backend. We sometimes criticize or are empathetic to them, with profound established view point to various matters. There are matters of heart, relationships, money, ambitions, studies, love, family, and many others and innumerous diverse scenarios as much as a writer can be deeply immersed in.

How to accept yourself to follow and choose the selected path is quite easy, once you have selected the factors. They keep juggling inorder to form a balance in life, but there would be some ethics based on which we select the path. To frame the ethics, both material and immaterial ones, is of utmost importance rather than selecting the path or goals. Don’t you think so?

For example, everyone loves their family and their self. They are one of the top priorities along with money. Being selfish is humane, but it need not be purely opposite of selfless.

I don’t deny the definitions, and the established rules of life, they may have some experience – biased reasoning which is high above our understanding. But until we are able to interpret the course of life fully enough to understand its depth, we do can, rather we do alter its basic definitions. That’s just a phase of life when we question and find their answers. The phase when we start framing the ethics. Does that mean, we need to get all the answers to our questions to frame our ethics and thereby select the path to live? Need not be, and I am sure we won’t be getting the answers, we do get, but unsatisfactory. Its just that this is the phase we need to mould more, to create a more happy life. But then why no books available pertaining to this point?
Or is it that I missed some of them?

It was over 7.45pm. The last bus to my home will start within 15 minutes. I swiftly closed all windows, logged off my machine, and closed my drawer. Taking the bag onto my shoulder, I moved out of my desk, walking towards the corridor swiping out my id card. At the corridor, he joined me, with a blank face. He too maybe going home, in his bike.

..::::..

11 months ago:

It was over 5.30pm. The first bus was at 6.30pm. The new mail notification was smiling at me at the system tray. It was the mail from him.
“Hello, when leaving?”
“Not decided. What about you?”
“Not much work today. I may leave by 6.30”
“Hmm..Ok, catch a seat for me too”.. “if possible..”
“If possible huh??? I will think about it..”
“Keep thinking.. But inform me before the bus goes.. , I wonder what is there to think!!”
“Like whether I need to bear your chitchat whole while in bus n all…”
“..What!!…”
“..hehe…”
“……”
“…”

..::::..
Read the rest of this entry »

The rise of a new dawn,
Or is it another dusk,
Yet another week forlorn,
When bygone memories sink

Its time I realize my priorities; they explain,
But to foresee not, the throne i bestow them,
Their blindness do pricks, and thrusts damn pain,
After all, how can they do to me such a maim!!!