Every human being is a social animal. He craves for love and companionship. We may not realize or agree it when we think about it, but when you are left alone in the path of life, you realize that all successes, or all that you achieved does not make you fully happy. Family, relatives, friends, colleagues, life partner etc. Every person needs these, at least any one of them for survival. But the intricacies of the mind leaves us confused regarding all these relations and their meaning and essence in our life. All are different and plays a different role. Human beings are not so lucky to obtain all the relations in one person itself. The levels of importance and impact which these relations have on our life is distinguished by an unknown or undefined line of identification. But as always, this line is not clear or cannot be properly defined.

In this society, we consider family as the most important and is considered as the nucleus of which we are part of. Then there are the relatives, close friends, colleagues and acquaintances in that order. Even in Orkut, you can find the categorization of the same for the friends list. But recently when I tried to do the same, I got confused. There are friends who I have not met, but still are my good friends. There are people whom I know very well, but I seldom talk to them, just like an acquaintance. The same applies for relatives too. There maybe some distant distant relatives who may be integral part of family, but for us, they are just acquaintance. Then there are friends or colleagues to whom we reveal more than what we say to the family. All these complications therefore I feel is based on the dependency factor which becomes crucial in deciding the line of identification. More than blood or water or whatever which decides the thickness, I guess this dependency is what makes the relation thicker or thinner. But to make matters complicated while resolving them, this dependency factor is never constant. It keeps on changing over time, based on availability. But it keeps matters simple and plain, there by supporting the undefined and unnamed relations prevailing in the society.
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August 5th. Everyone is busy wishing “Happy Friendship Day” to each other. I guess all do have friends. At least they think they have. But the importance of friends is known only when we are in crisis. When we need the support and care in the way we wish, we turn to them. For bringing back our minds from the big black hole of thoughts n sorrows and to give meaning to life. Friends to whom you can call when you feel dull, when you need money, when you want advice, when you get bored, when you are too happy or anytime…

There is this blog post by Chandni which entrusts the deep loneliness when we don’t have real friends in life. Life’s indeed boring for each n all, but these small small talks, laughs, jokes, incidents keeps you moving on and on… There has been another article on unthanked people, which reflects the importance of many special people in our lives to whom we should be grateful.

Even in our day-to-day lives, we find such saviors, without whom, we feel devastated. For me, most of such people fall in the category of friends. There are others too, unknown strangers who helps us in various forms of life. We keep remembering them and spread good words about them to all. But the near ones, like family n friends, we take for granted. They too should be thanked; why to leave them unthanked. Friendship is present in every relationship. And in the recent years, I have met few people to whom I owe lot, some who still keep in touch, but some who have lost the contact and some who though have the contact, are too lazy to call each other..

Today when the season is approaching, I wish to thank all the friends who came in my life, taught many things, gave me support, and lots of beautiful memories… Happy friendship day, my friend…

PS: From an article in a regional monthly magazine

Laxman was a good looking young man from a middle class family with a well-earning job. In his early youth, he had met with a bike accident which resulted in a severe blow to his head. After the incident, his life moved on without any issues. Few months after the incident, there was a gradual change in his behaviour; he got irritated very suddenly, got angry and violent impulsively, and behaved strangely. His family and relatives considered it as the rage of his age, and decided to get him married. The chosen one was Leela.

The life after marriage was not so smooth as all expected. Leela realized this in the first night itself. She moved on with life adjusting with the occasional violent behaviour of Laxman. In due time, Leela got pregnant but his behaviour never changed. At times, in his rage, he even tried to attack his wife violently.

In the end, Leela’s parents applied for divorce. Laxman himself came to leave her with care, at her home. The case went on in court, and meanwhile, Leela gave birth to a baby girl. Laxman went to see the baby to her house, but her family and relatives did not allow him to see his child.

Finally, Laxman’s family started treating him for his abnormality by sending him to a mental asylum(or hospital), where, after sometime, he committed suicide. His suicide note and last words looked like:

“Leela,
Whom does our child look like? Like mom or dad? Hope you’d bring her up nicely without letting her know that her father was mad, won’t you?”

Yesterday it was “Happy Mother’s Day”. This year I am missing my mom lot, she is just a call away, but still.. She calls me up daily, but still… She called me yesterday too, but… I still couldn’t say that! Lot many people keep saying that they hug and kiss their mom’s. And at the same time, they hide many facts from their mothers so that their moms don’t get hurt… I too do the same, but I try not to lie.. I just cant… She is always there for you, as a support, morally, when you are down at times and physically, when you are ill… Sometimes we feel that the generation gap has grown up too much that, we say excuses and lies to go out and do things which we feel right.. But I guess we often forget the fact, that no one can understand us better than our mom… I got a sms forward from my friend yesterday which absolutely said everything about her:
She loves you,
She cries for you,
She prays for you,
She gets concerned & angry at you,
She is none other than your mother.
Make your mother smile today…
Happy Mother’s Day!!

I love you amma.. And I miss you too….

Hmmm.. the issue of why women behave like this and that, and why men don’t understand many things has been the talk from the time, both were born! Intelligent people blame it on the genes, but I guess its almost true. Its the way the men and women developed themselves over these ages. In some books, they have given the explanation that its due to the pre-historic age, in which man worked for living while women in the cave looked after the family. That gives in for most of the behavior, but it also provides an insight of how human beings evolve over the ages.

The human being itself is a big complicated topic to talk about. Lots of things like God, existence of universe, and also the human beings are all matters to talk about, but the most intricate will be the human mind. There has been lots of theories on artificial intelligence which states how does human brain work, the explanations of various senses, feelings, reasoning, movements, etc etc. Thats too much into science now.

In general, people keep saying women think by heart while men think using mind and are more practical.Does heart think?? Is there something like heart? Whats brain does then? Is mind and brain same? What do people mean by practicality? Coming in terms with reality? Is there something like living in dreams then? Why does people think that only women are weak and men are strong while its just the opposite always!

Don’t we have a subconscious mind like a sixth sense which governs all our decisions? Trained like all other senses to get adjusted to the reality? Which also kindles the feelings of hopes n dreams and wishes named as wishes of heart? Which creates the different feelings of joy, sorrow, pain, disappointment, need, wants, affection, attraction with the help of chemical substances called hormones? Aren’t the terms practicality an abstract term which suppresses our feelings?

And everywhere they keep saying, women are stupid and weak. Why do they love their mothers then? For being stupids and idiots or cos of the love n affection? Why do they feel lonely without girlfriends? Is it only cos of the physical attraction or cos they need someone who understands them? If women are not so practical, then how can they take care of the family and the household? They say women are weak and always takes things to heart, if they too were practical as the guys were, why would ever guys turn to gals for support? Women are indeed practical, but they do think with heart or their instinct, just as how they protected their children n themselves by identifying danger in the prehistoric age. Men do have feelings and emotions more than women, but unlike women, they are used to not to show them out and move on easily.
(So beware, even when a woman says ‘nothing’ that means there is really ’something’ and she wants the man to understand it implicitly!! But men rarely realizes it, but with age n time, the successful men realize it soon!!!)
Women also can argue and they can reason you out, and they can lead you or the business too, but everywhere they accept the defeat so that their men can win.And cos they are brought up in that way by the time.

Its really pity that some men don’t give the respect to woman as much as she needs and instead keep hurting her…

I guess this is a very delicate topic to write about, but I am sure all people in this world has gone through the phase of the entangling relationships and feelings, where you are uncertain what’s happening to you and your surroundings. People tend to misunderstand most of the time the feelings of dependence as love, or is it true?
I read the following as quoted in a blog from the book Elizabeth George’s “Missing Joseph” where the woman wonders what love is…

I don’t know what it means to love anyone, she realized. I thought it was goodness, a wanting to share. I thought it meant like you hold out your hand and someone takes it, holds it hard, and pulls you safe from the river. You talk. You tell him bits of yourself. You say here’s where I hurt and you give it to him and he holds it and gives you where he hurts in return and you hold it and that’s how you learn to love. You lean where he’s strong. He leans where you’re strong. And there’s a joining somewhere .. ..

I have heard lots of break ups and past relations of few people. In most cases, they think that its their fault or blame the other. Is it wrong to get dependent and keep expectations? I don’t think so. Maybe you have to learn to accept the reality also. As said in DDLJ film, you may dream and you have the right to dream, but don’t ever keep the expectations that the dream and our expectations should be true and should happen at that point of time. I guess thats the reason for most of the friction occurring in any relation.

Even after these small frictions and official breakups, the feelings never change, only the intensity comes down. And feelings are distinguished by their intensity. The base of all feelings are care and concern for the other, and I guess this never changes in any relationship, even though you start to hate the other or even till the end of their life. Relations never die, maybe the intensity reduces to almost to an unknown level.

As posted by Megha, society do play a very important role in confusing the relations. Age maybe the factor when you are young, but there are other reasons in later part of life, when the relations are disturbed and named something else. And the strange thing is the society includes all the learned people and still they do keep the conventional points and rules at heart.

Boys say girls can never be trusted. They change their decisions any time. Gals keep saying boys are cheaters, and they leave them whenever they are enough of the gals. Both boys and gals are human beings and I guess its in their genes to take risk and immature decisions at certain specified ages. Maybe when you realize these, people say you’ve grown up. We tend to accept the reality and try to live in the practical world, making decisions based on feasibility. Maybe we may not be happy as our wishes has not fulfilled. But we move on to find happiness in what we achieve and receive. Be it professional and personal life. We may do cry like a child at times, but regain ourselves, without anyone to understand us or make us understand. We get to know whats the relations are and their importance.

But still, people do move on, accepting the strange ways of relations and also the society, accepting reality and becomes more “practical”, as they say.
Again as Someone said,

“Everything will be OK in the end, if its not, its not the end…”

Maybe this is what you call life. To live with a ray of hope that everything will be ok in the end…

The world is really progressing I guess. Atleast thats what elder people say. At home, its frequent that we hide many things from our parents because of the fear that they won’t understand this and that. Being just one year into this corporate world and out of college, the family starts looking out for grooms and advertising in matrimonial sites for suitable companions for their young ones. If we remind them that we don’t want to settle in now, they ask why. Why? Hmmm… I dono how to explain. On this, then they ask, “ok, is there someone?!!!!” .. “What??!!”  Maybe the freedom we enjoy, is an addiction and they don’t want us to fall for that. Ok fine. But how do we determine the right time? Is it the age? I guess its just one of the factors. There are many which goes unnoticed. I guess we need time to set the foundation for many things like our career,(you may ask, one year is not enough kya? well.. its high time I agree, but for me unfortunately it is not enough!).. The preparation for taking up the responsibilities, the time to build up the managerial capability for planning between work and family and relatives. They say, you’ll need a companion to live life n all and I agree with it too, but we just fear the additional responsibilities that come with the bonus. All these things matters more to women, because there are many young girls who are forced to accept and adjust their career growth after marriage..
So many decisions to make, very little time and a very short life!!!! Hmmmm!….

Many a people, including my mom, have asked me what is it that I am looking forward to? And I don’t have any answer. I am sure no girl of my age would have a true answer. I feel all are searching for some one. Even the guys are doing the same. They check out the hot chicks to show off or to enjoy hanging out as friends, but at heart I am sure they want someone else as their dream girl. Sometimes we feel we found out the right one, and we feel we are fully in love and that this is the final one etc, but later when reality dawns onto us, we feel he/she was just a strong contestant in the contest. And ths contestants and their probability to win our heart and lose in another second is just a matter of time and destiny, the game which is played by the Unknown.
This reminds me of the dialogues in the film ‘Anand’ in which Rajesh Khanna says something like: ‘The world is a stage in which we are the actors and actresses playing a drama called life under the production and direction of the Unknown!’

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